He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
