I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
