Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize