SEEEEXXX PLEASE
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
