I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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