The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
