So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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