I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize