Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
