is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
