Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
