My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
