Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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