love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
vagina is talking i cant
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
