11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
