I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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