party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
