you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
