fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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