Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
