i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
