apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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