he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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