He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
