drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
