I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
