your room smells of hookers.
And success
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize