I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
