Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
