I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
