The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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