You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize