Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
