oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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