break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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