I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
dude. I can hear the air.
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