I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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