i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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