I cannot find my penis.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize