problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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