Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize