she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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