life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I skipped work to stalk him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
