I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I puked a lego.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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