Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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