just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
