I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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