he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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