You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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