Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize