I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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