I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
