hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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