I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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