You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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