you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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