I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
