you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
