The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
