Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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