But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
