hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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