We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize