so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
