I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
